Professional/Personal Development (gross) Books that are Great for 2016

Hello all, I’m back at it with a few more book recommendations. This post is dedicated to that necessary evil we all love to hate—Professional/Personal Development.

I’ve written on the subject of self-help books before, though “Personal/Professional Development” sounds a little sexier, if not creepily hormonal.  Wouldn’t you know, there’s a brand new batch of great books for 2016 just waiting to be devoured. I’ve always been open to various genres (turning my nose up will likely result in me walking into something). So I’ve tried it all—from trashy romance novels to horribly angsty YALit to some really dry, difficult classics, and they’ve all taught me something valuable.

The thing about Personal and Professional Development books is they aren’t sly about their teaching—there’s basically a big ol’ neon sign flashing “this is going to teach you something” above each work. In our fast-paced society, it’s easy to feel bogged down, unmotivated, and overwhelmed, especially when you evaluate your career and life and come up wanting.

The thing is, everyone is a work in progress. Everyone could use a little extra boost. 

I’ve always been kind of obsessed with the topic of improvement. My shelves are lined with notebooks filled to the brim with neatly scripted to-do lists and goals and inspirational phrases painstakingly transposed from Google (is that endearing or just sad?). I’m a big believer in setting attainable goals and working my arse off until I can contentedly slide my pen across one less item on my ever-changing life list. No matter if you’re a CEO of a major corporation, a stay-at-home mama with a brood of lovely rascals, or a fresh-faced college grad with a little too much pluck, these books can help you and your  career develop (yuck).

1.) I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of their Time

Laura Vanderkam

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I enjoyed this book so much I read it twice. Seriously, I did. Though I will say this book isn’t exactly the most beautifully crafted—Vanderkam’s turn of phrase won’t make you sigh with metaphysical understanding or laugh out loud. However, her advice is practical and her approach is pragmatic, and I love the book’s underlying theme. In the book she interviews hundreds of “mosaic women,” females who have young children but also have a career that earns them over 100K.  She simply asks these women how they manage their time without delving into the archaic, dried-up “how does she do it all” narrative. She discusses practical ways women can truly engage with family and grow their career while not falling prey to the harried, scary business mommy trope. She reminds us that we actually have 168 hours a week, and those hours can be spent catering to a hectic job, raising a loving child, engaging in meaningful connection with a spouse, and facilitating truly beneficial “me time.” She writes:

You don’t build the life you want by saving time. You build the life you want, and then time saves itself. Recognizing that is what makes success possible.

and this little gem…

In life, you can be unhappy, or you can change things. And even if there are things you can’t change, you can often change your mind-set and question assumptions that are making life less good than it could be.

She also takes on the narrative we tell ourselves about how “busy” we are. In society business is a status symbol in the same way a lack of sleep seems to represent a life well-lived (more so, at least, than someone who happily clocks 7-8 hours a night). Vanderkam takes these assumptions to task and upends them, asserting that it’s okay to have leisure time and to be well-rested.

2.) The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Marie Kondo

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Okay people get ready to have your world rocked. I understand that this book is very “in” right now. It’s very “buzzy.” It’s all the “rage.”

Unnecessary quotations are wonderfully awful.

Marie Kondo is a self-proclaimed tidier who has spent her whole life looking for efficient ways to store, manage, and enjoy her belongings. It’s kind of impossible to continue living in clutter after reading her engaging work. Yes, my purse is still a madhouse of fools and my car is kind of an embarrassment to the human race, but my cabinets…my cabinets are truly lovely. The same can be said for the majority of my house, although my closet tends to build up with clothes and puppy toys faster than you can say clutter. However, Kondo’s two-point approach to getting rid of stuff and filling your space with things that truly bring you joy is really compelling.

In a review of the book an author sums up her approach quite nicely:

First, put your hands on everything you own, ask yourself if it sparks joy, and if it doesn’t, thank it for its service and get rid of it. Second, once only your most joy-giving belongings remain, put every item in a place where it’s visible, accessible, and easy to grab and then put back. Only then, Kondo says, will you have reached the nirvana of housekeeping, and never have to clean again.

When she says put your hands on everything, Kondo means everything. And she means do it all in “one sitting,” or a cohesive space of time, not spread erratically over a year or a few months. She divides up your tidying into different categories based on their degree of difficulty, with the last category, personal memorabilia, allowing you to put off throwing away your love letters and kindergarten poems until the end. Kondo’s method comes from a worthy place—according to her, your home should only contain the things that bring you contentment and joy.

I will say that her section on books was hard for me—she requires you get rid of books that no longer bring you joy. I must confess I didn’t go through my books as I should have because it is so hard for me to give away books. One day I may need them! Or worse, someone else may randomly need my extra copy of Southern Women Writers and I will be able to fill that void. I know I have a problem and I’m working through it, but I digress.

Kondo asserts that the things you don’t absolutely love are taking up the space that the more joy-bringing items could occupy.  She encourages people to toss or donate these misfit items. Donate and toss I did. By the end of my tidying I had 6 garbage bags filled with stuff I no longer needed. And as Kondo promised, I felt a lightness I could only describe as declutter detox.  The feeling was so strong, I told about 7 of my friends they absolutely had to read the book so we could talk about it at length.

The Life Changing Magic, is much more than a cleaning book. It’s a book about taking stock. It’s a book about assessing the life you have and how it measures up to the life you want, and adjusting accordingly.

So there you have it. Two books to fill up your brain and your Kindle, that will also help you professionally and personally. Happy reading!

 

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4 Self-Help Books that Don’t Suck or 4 Self-Help Books You Won’t Be Embarrassed to Rate on Goodreads

The deep readers out there might be ready to disown me for making my first book post about something other than Lit-Rich-AH. Though I love a good, dense book that I can analyze the shiz out of (bye bye credibility), I feel like this post might be one that attracts a wider variety of people (yep talking to you “nonreaders”) because, let’s face it, we all need help.

I’ll be the first to say that I don’t have it all together, folks. I just don’t. I maintain that no one really does. If someone tells you they do, well, they’re lying with a capital L. Things get crazy and people get crazy, and that’s A-OK. Sometimes we find ourselves crying for absolutely no reason or diving head first into a package of Double Stuff Oreos or online shopping for Disney Channel original movies so we can just go back. Sometimes we do this because it’s a Tuesday, and sometimes we do it to numb, numb, numb.

All of these are hypothetical and relate to me in no way, of course.

So for those who could use some good ol’ fashion self improvement but feel the impulse to gag or roll their eyes at the thought of being seen on the subway or plane with a You’ve Got This! 30 Ways to Make Everything in your life THE BEST!!!!! (not a real book…?), this post is for you.

1.) Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brene Brown

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

So Brene Brown is my spirit animal, my guru, my fairy godmother, my sister from another mister.daringgreatly_final525-resized-600 She beautifully captures what every single person experiences in their lives and tries so very hard to hide–shame.

Shame, the little gremlin inside of us that tells us we aren’t good enough. Shame, the voice that tells us to just hide inside ourselves and pretend that everything is peaches and cream. Shame, the thing that separates us, makes us judge others, and basically screws everything up in a royal fashion.

This book hit me at the perfect time in my life, which basically means a time when I was in what Anne Shirley calls the “depths of despair.” I was lost, I was confused, and most of all, I was wading in a deep murky pool of slimy shame. Yuck. In Daring Greatly, Brown writes that the only way out of shame is diving head first into vulnerability. Crazy, right? She emphases the importance of vulnerability in a culture obsessed with whitewashing perfection onto everyone and everything. As a research professor who has spent a good chunk of her life studying vulnerability, courage, and shame, Brown provides an in depth look at the psychological pressures and outcomes of living with shame and avoiding vulnerability.

As a recovering perfectionist, you can imagine how deeply I needed this book and how often I revisit it. I love how she emphasizes the importance of being vulnerable and open no matter how scared, broken, jaded, or skeptical we are. It’s a book for anyone who needs to hear “you’re fine and worthy exactly where you are.”

So, yeah, basically all of us.

2.) The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, Michael A. Singer

“Billions of things are going on in this world. You can think about it all you want, but life is still going to keep on happenUntetheredSoulMech-#1.indding.”

If this book sounds hippy dippy, it’s because it’s kind of hippy dippy, but in the best way possible. The cover does have a stallion galloping across a sandy beach, presumably “untethered”, but don’t let it fool you. The book is deep. Real deep. So deep that I found myself rubbing my temples whispering “Who am I? Who am I?” again and again.

Singer discusses a thought more enticing than bottomless chips and salsa–the possibility of living free from fear, anxiety, and all those other unnecessary little demons that fill our brains and make us bonkers. He talks about the importance of understanding the “inner you” and how that “you” is divine and capable of transcending anything this life has in store. He talks about meditation and mindfulness (two things I sloppily incorporate into my life) and discusses the importance letting go. Whew, what a thought, right? His book is one I go back to when I start noticing my feelers grip tight around negativity and past mistakes. Every page is filled with wisdom and each time I read it I leave feeling a little lighter, a little more centered, and a little more inclined to don my Urban Outfitters’ flower crown.

3.) The Complete Collected Poems of Maya Angelou, Maya Angelou

“I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”

Yes, okay I get it. I get it. This is a collection of poems which is not technically in the same genre (or more accurately, the same galaxy) as a self-help book. However, the blog is mine all mine so I’m going to include it. Also, Maya Angelou should be injected into life as much as possible, so you’re welcome. For thos9780679428954_p0_v1_s260x420e who hear the word poetry and buckle, or worse, think I just don’t get it, consider this the kiddy pool of poetry. Not because Angelou’s poems aren’t deep and life-changing (they are), but because they are so damn accessible. Her poetry is like cheap therapy. Cheap, good therapy. This collection is nice and thick with her words of wisdom and deals with everything from loneliness to death to joy. If you doubt this applies to you, humor me and read “Still I Rise,” “Phenomenal Woman,” and “Refusal,” and then come talk to me. The Complete Collected Poems is filled with fabulous poems that speak to ingrained human needs and shows how connected, yet still undeniably unique, we all are.

4.) The Happiness Advantage:The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, Shawn Achor

“Focusing on the good isn’t just about overcoming our inner grump to see the glass half full. It’s about opening our minds to the ideas and opportunities that will help us be more productive, effective, and successful at work and in life.”

Shawn Achor’s book is a great touchstone text for those who want to grow in their careers, and in turn, their lives. Yeah, so everyone.  The writer/positive psychologist (yep that’s a thing) is known best for lecturing at a little place called Harvard. He happiness-advantagetook it a step further and became involved in Harvard’s most famous class called Positive Psychology aka the”Happiness Course.”

Even more impressive to me, though, is the fact Achor was a featured guest on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday (and everybody said Amen).

The book disproves the notion that the harder you work, the more successful you’ll become. Or more popularly, once you’ve “arrived” then you’ll (finally) enjoy true happiness. The Happiness Advantage Cher-slapped me in the face and yelled SNAP OUT OF IT!! Achor and years of psychological studies wholeheartedly disagree with the belief that success births happiness. According to Achor “Happiness fuels success, not the other way around.” Not only does the book explore the importance of maintaining a positive outlook, but it also gives tangible examples of ways we can all experience more happiness on a daily basis (hint: gratitude is a BIG DEAL). And you know what’s fab.com? According to Achor, happiness begets success begets happiness begets success. That’s a trend I don’t mind wearing out.

What’s your favorite self-help book? Have you read any of these recommendations? If so what are your thoughts?